"Are you happier than you were one year ago? Yes or no, be honest with yourelf." That's what the tweet reads. Just had to type it again because I can't read it in the image. :))
So, to answer the question honestly: Yes, I am happier than I was a year ago. The year 2011 is not really one of my best years. I just graduated from college and I was undergoing making life-changing decisions. Other people, like my mother and sister, want me to find a job and immediately start working. On the other hand, as I've said, for the past four years, to my parents, to my classmates, to my teachers, and to others, that I want to take medicine. They must have thought that I was joking or something. So what should I do? The question that ran and ran again in my mind is: "I know what I want to do. But what do I need to do?" Do I need to please my mother and sister? And I did - at first. I looked for jobs and started attending interviews. But I wasn't happy. During my very first interview, I think - no scratch that - I did self-sabotage. I passed the battery test and first interview. So, that was good, I thought. And during the final interview, there's me and only another applicant. Oh, we're applying for the position of HR Assistant. As we were waiting, I'm thinking what it would be like to work in that company I was applying for. I didn't like what I imagined. The place is dreadful! It's so quiet, restraint and boring. I'm not meant for that kind of life. In five years, I didn't see myself working in that company. So, when the employer asked me if she called and gave me the job, would I accept it. You know what my answer was? "I'll think about it." The self-sabotaging didn't end there. While waiting for the result, the other applicant who was so nice to me, even gave me a biscuit. But in return, I vomited at her! I was so self-conflicted that it affected my biological aspect. That is one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. The other applicant didn't get angry, or at least didn't show anger. After that, I went home - feeling tired (but relieved).
Anyway, after a few apprehending months or was that weeks, my mother finally agreed to my taking a medical degree. I didn't talk to her and I was hostile to her. I was sulking in my bed. I don't have a room of my own. But in the end, she agreed. And I continued reviewing for NMAT that was scheduled December last year. That's when I looked for a part-time job: Freelance Writer. See, I do compromises. :D
In conclusion (what's this? an essay? XD), I am happier now than last year. Because I have little certainty on the path I'm taking for the rest of my life. And I got what I want. :)) Certainty makes us feel secured so it helps in our happiness. However, I admit that it's sad sometimes, because I keep feeling doubt but then I have to look at the big picture: I am a doctor, that's my purpose! I won't give up! :)
"Sometimes, it gets frustrating to see that my goal is just a tiny seed right now; but having a vision of what I want it to become keeps me motivated to just go for it without giving up." The Happiness Project
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